Hello to my faithful, devoted readers!

* tumble weed rolls past*

OK OK I’ve been pretty vacant since my last post… over a year ago… and you’ve no doubt lost interest, but in my defence I have been very busy! Not sure what I was busy doing exactly, (it get’s fairly blurry after I became legally old enough to drink alcohol, oddly enough…) but I’ll try and make it up to you if you give me the chance… please?!

If you’re still reading this far then I’ve either won you over, or you’re just a glutton for punishment in terms of poor quality blogs, and the good news is, I cater for both! Now let’s get down to business…

Basically, since you last heard from me, I’ve completed my A-levels, left school, been accepted into Lincoln University (deferred entry) and been clearing tables for my new job at a cafe for 4 months. Lots of other stuff has happened which has made for a pretty crazy year, fortunately for you this should mean I might have learnt a thing or two and have lots to write about. Over the past 4 months of being a working girl I’ve learnt a lot – firstly, that working sucks. However,  that wouldn’t make for a very interesting blog, so here I give you, some of the more interesting ideas I’ve pondered, learnt or observed:

1. Some of us are lucky enough to witness the true greatness of human ability. Olympic athletes, war heroes, survivors of tragedy, or in my case, the gentlemen who comes to the restaurant almost everyday, falls asleep, but never falls off his seat.

2. I think it says a lot about me that I couldn’t handle an 18 month old child frowning every time she looked at me. I think it says even more that I spent 3 months trying to rectify this.

3. Furthermore, I shouldn’t be so pleased that I succeeded.

4. Certain things are constant in the world, regardless of age. Things such as friendship, love, and apparently, the necessity of reacting like a pantomime crowd when someone drops a plate.

5. Other things to  be added to this list include: The inability to get any serious work done when it is raining heavily, the reaction of people you know when you try to explain that the person you are with is ‘just a friend’ (never thought I’d hear the phrase ‘So you’ve scored?’ in that context from an OAP) and people encouraging you to climb into every cardboard box you might happen to fit into.

6. Few things deserve a double take as much as overhearing middle age couples discussing ‘swinging’ over coffee. Don’t knock it ’til you try it…

7.  Working directly with the public is the best training for anyone wanting to become an actor.

8. You know you’re working too hard when you give the cutlery voices and emotions.

9. When you then go on to tell people about how difficult life is for a spoon, you’re pretty much a lost cause.

10. I talk to teapots now. I think this says it all really.


Coming Soon:  Thoughts of a Clumsy Table Clearer Part Two – A Coming of Age Story 

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3 responses »

  1. I’ve missed your blogs! …and I had a (rather one sided) conversation with my coffee this morning, so I think we’re kinda even on the teapot thing :D

  2. Chess says:

    Oh, I do miss you. :-D You do know how saddened I wouldn’t be if you hadn’t done half these things right? I mean I wander around talking to plenty of inanimate objects, and wonder why one of my block mates just sits and laughs at me.
    P.S. Oh course the life of a spoon is very difficult, would you want to be dipped in hot tea?
    P.S.2. Did you make her smile at you then?

    • hellsreject says:

      Well we regularly run out of knives, forks and teaspoons and have to order more from pots… but we never run out of regular spoons… not even on soup day… *tears up a little*… can no one feel their pain?!

      *Recovers* Yup, she’s still pretty wary of me (I think this is a clear sign of her budding intelligence), but she does actually smile at me now :D

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